Selamat kembali!

it's been a long time since the christmas post last year!

just came back here in Kajang 4 days ago, from nearly 4 weeks holiday in Sarawak. it was a good time, yet it was quite disappointing (for me personally) also. just because i couldn't give much more to others than what i have done. And of course, some plans or thoughts for that holiday which 'tak jadi'!

hmm, guess, tak cukup PASSION in bringing the difference...

anyway, what i gained is a few inches of my 'perut buncit' until seluar pun tak leh muat dah! macam sesak nafas saja...

and things i observed from my friends (ex-schoolmates): they really sampat about boy-girl relationship! which i find so 'muak' that i wanted to run from them. not because that i'm still single but, don't you all have anything else you wanted to know about your friends other than this matter??

THE HIGHEST GOAL IN A HUMAN LIFE IS NOT GETTING MARRIED AND HAVE A FAMILY, OR RATHER HAVING A BUAYA FRIEND / GORILLA FRIEND!

It's a relationship with God!

..."Relationship is what Life is all about"... and the ultimate one is a close relationship with God, with Jesus Christ!

i felt like something being drained away by being in that situation. one of my purposes to go back Sibu is to meet my friends and get in touch with some of them who i wanted to hear more from them, about their life spiritually and physically...

these recent years, i heard some of my friends took up the challenge and accepted Christ Jesus, and my heart 'jumped' in gladness that i wanted to cry already.

Praise God, i managed to know a little bit of some of them, and there are a lot actually i wanted to follow-up with. i got to get some insights from what one of my friends spoke of, insights about her life and herself...

then, i got to know about my cousin's problem in her marriage. yes, things like this are quite common nowadays, still these are what we are suppose to concern about rather than being self-centred all thae way till the very last breath on earth!

a lot more actually happened within my family, and i honestly don't like it because i don't know how to 'fix' it, what to do with them... but, yeah, BUT thanks to Him, the faithful and genius God He is, i have the chance to see and experience bits of what the whole world, everyone and every family is experiencing now, and more to come.

oh, there are so so much! take joy in learning from all these in Him!

God Father, thank You for Your mercy and grace, that we are where we are right now! help us to always remember Your sovereignty over every pieces of our life, and to surrender this life You have given us, to be our responsibility to give the best and be the blessing for many. In Jesus' name, amen!

Mengenal-Mu (GMB-Giving My Best)

Bila ku buka mataku dan lihat wajah-Mu
ku terkagum
Bila kulihat hidupku dan karya tangan-Mu
ku tersanjung

Kar'na semua yang baik dalam hidupku, itulah karya-Mu
Kau b'ri kesempatan yang baru

Dan ku ingin mengenal-Mu Tuhan
Lebih dalam dari semua yang ku kenal
Tiada kasih yang melebihi-Mu
Ku ada untuk menjadi penyembah-Mu



lagu yang sungguh memberkati! sungguh!
biarlah menjadi doa semua orang untuk mengenal Tuhan, lebih dalam dan lebih dalam lagi!
itulah harta yang paling paling paling indah dan puas bagi setiap manusia!
oh, sangat indah sekali!

a hair cut in Christmas...

first and foremost... Merry Christmas!

ok... to the story...

initially, i wanted to wait till i return to Sibu only i go get the hair cut, but... tetiba, cannot tahan dah, so after the Christmas service, i went to the Indian barber in Hentian and had my hair done!

a few minutes after i went in the shop, the guy changed the channel, and ... 'wait, this is a Tamil story of Jesus on tv??!', i thought we never get the chance to watch it on Malaysian tv!

ok, to the main point... after the hair cut, like Hoc Mun said, the barber did a little massage on my head, and... 'kruup.. kruup' (the sound of my neck kena 'twist'!)... yeah!, pegang my kepala and pulas my leher!, 'KRUUP... KRUUP...', to the left, and to the right...

'WHAT!, so loud the bunyi [kruup, kruup]'... then, what else, i giggled, wanted to laugh over the [kruup, kruup]... after the [kruup, kruup], i just couldn't help myself but senyum s'orang s'orang and giggled... all the way till i reached Philo! crap, mesti ada orang nampak, 'apasal budak ni senyum senyum happy s'orang diri sambil berjalan??'... kekekkeke

still, the [kruup, kruup] is very nice to have! i must say this is the first time i had my hair cut with [kruup, kruup] and wangian lemon (i think) on my hair... now the kepala macam dah longgar, eh i mean the leher...

oh by the way, while walking pass by the Philo's grave, i took a picture of it, since it's day time now, so it's clearer than the one i posted before... with SE W300i...

and, that's all for now, God bless!

dear Philo... dalam kenangan...

ini adalah anak anjing yang dikutip oleh si Melvin dekat Sebastian dia (skuter merah) di Hentian. kisah dia bersama kami bermula dari situ...

Mel called me dat afternoon and asked me whether i wanted to keep this puppy, so i agreed. Shao Yi excorted that puppy to Philo and i bathed her... yeah, it's a 'her', a b***h! HAHAHAH...

then, i put her in the besen merah, left it behind the house...

this was the moment caught... well, using my SE W300i phone...

tak tau mau beri nama apa, jadi cuma panggil dia 'veew, veew... duook, duook...' (tak pandai macam mana mau tulis bunyi-bunyian yang dibuat dalam huruf -.-''')...

kemudian, saya sebarangan bagi saja dia 'Philo', memandangkan dia di Philo... so whateva!

Kin Onn asked bout its name before that and just 'hmm... tak tau, belum ada...', then one day, i heard him called the b***h 'buddy', if not mistaken la, that's the one i heard from him, so whateva...

ok, now i wanna talk about makan minum Philo... first 2 days, Philo makan resipi khas Adris! yumm yumm! then the 3rd day, didnt know what else i could give Philo, so another resipi Adris diberi! HAHAHHAHAH...

lepas makan, sure Philo akan berak! and i must say, this b***h really knew where to shit! jauh-jauh tempat sudut, senang untuk saya uruskan (well, except 2 kali)... then, sure dia sangat aktif, mau minta main la konon, jadi main kejar-kejar dan gigit-gigit sama Philo lo!

ini b***h ah, manyak lawak! jalan tak tentu, mau skid tapi selalu jatuh, dengan muka dia yang selamba dan skema... kemudian bangun lagi, kejar kaki... peluk kaki, gigit kaki... besar betul perut dia tau! bulat man! well, itu pun selepas makan.

after i played with Philo, i quickly went inside Philo and left it outside. sien ah! then, the b***h tidur. kalau dia bangun, jerit... itu tanda mau main la tu... (most of the time i left it outside, kekekeke)

(muka selamba Philo... rasa mau cekik dia saja kan!... apuu, ding gii doong!...)

akhirnya, tak sampai seminggu di Philo, tragedi berlaku!

itu pun berlaku tanpa saya ketahui. after receiving Mel's sms only i went out and checked. Mel said Philo kena langgar... mau mati! kena langgar Kancil Jun...

ok, i went out, and saw Melvin and Shao Yi outside the Philo, looking at the b***h.

after a short discussion, Mel said kaki patah, tak leh jalan dah... kemudian, kena suspek 'tercekik'... then, discussed more in depth on how the Kancil hit Philo, and we came to another conclusion that the bitch might have been hit on the stomach... well, 2-3 shits on the floor as the evidence to back up the suspicion.

(the places pointed to are the shits... plus one more in between the hind legs of Philo)

afterwards, Philo rolled to the left and to the right, then to the left again and collapsed! the end!

oh not yet, Mel said it was the first time he saw a dog died in such way. so we laughed! and Philo sempat lagi keluarkan seutas taik kuning dekat burit dia! woaoo!

kemudian, Mel called Jun or Jun called Mel, im not sure, but they sounded like CSI interrogating a suspect on a murder... sampai Jun pun 'chuak'! because she gave Philo Tiger biscuits before Kin Onn and her leaving Philo. so we laughed, again... (o ya, we found the evidence from bakul motosikal Kin Onn: 2 paket kosong biskut Tiger)

so, Mel called his Ah Long E-Lyn to spread this wonderful experience of his, witnessing the bizarre sight before the bitch died... and E-Lyn bagi satu suspek lagi: kecederaan dalaman! and we all pun agreed, 'hmm.. hmm...'

Shao Yi pulak sibuk mau cari koroner, doktor vet dari UKM... only to realised that only UPM has vet... so tak jadi! we just looked at Philo and talked over it and somehow laughed again... we did try to perform CPR, checked her pulse but lawak saja akhirnya... Shao Yi took the pictures of the crime scene, well actually it was not really the crime scene la, crime scene sebenar di luar Philo...

at last, we decided to dispose... so wrapped Philo in newspapers... brought it to behind the Bangi One Stop Home Centre (the one that blocked the scene in front of Philo! mengganggu saja bangunan tu! issh!)...

(sedia mau panggang 'wuduk' dalam surat khabar...)

ok, now we were like a 3-man ninja team in the Naruto world, carrying a newspaper 'balutted' Philo, one 'gayung' and one 'penutup botol biskut berwarna merah', walking out from Philo to dispose the 'keguguran bayi of ... (you know who is the only girl in our team)'... darn, really fun man! suspek giler, sambil ketawa tak tentu pasal!

(this is the 'kubur' of Philo, R.I.P. @ 7.45pm on 15th of December, 2008)

Mel suggested to come back here after one year, and 'gali balik' Philo, take the bones and distribute them and make them into jewelry as a memorial to the b***h named Philo... COOL!

... ... ...

the moral of the story is: LIFE IS SHORT! so, what is the drive for your life to move on?

Comfort from God... for us...

it's been a month since my last post...

last week, we went for Misi Orang Asli (MOA), the second one for this year! and it was a great experience!

and we saw this smiley on 1st december, monday night, after we prayed and worshipped, till midnight. even though it was a global event, but for us, it was a comfort because of the struggle we were facing that day.

some of us felt the healing surge through their body, and one of them so semangat sampai mau bancuh Milo for all of us! haha...

brothers and sisters, it was a blessing for me to serve with you all! it was my pleasure to serve you too, even though not much. we shared a lot of laughters, good way to soothe the unsettling feelings too.

'lebih tinggi, lebih lebih tinggi...', 'mmek, mmek, mmek, pukul berapa sekarang?!', 'tarian poco-poco', 'peluru berpandu dari hidung!', 'ayam moden', 'sembelit!'... good la, no cirit this time...

Blessed??! It sure did!

yesterday morning... an unexpected thing happened!

the auntie, our chinese neighbour (right side, and left side is an indian family!, what a cun-cun house Philo is...) suddenly waving her hand over the wall, next to the door...

i didn't notice her calling because i was wearing earphones that moment, but LUCKILY, i was sitting facing the door!

so i stood up and walked towards her, and saw her handing over 2 small plastic bags...

they were ingredients for chrysanthemum tea and 'iced sugar cubes' (dunno wat to call in english, perhaps its rock sugar, wateva) ...

she said, 'you're coughing rite? dry cough? ... here is the tea, for you...' then we talked for a little while...

oh, making me feel 'pai seh', wondering 'crap, my cough so loud till she cannot tahan, n give this teh bunga to shut me up... hehe...' oh, well, i know, really kacau la this batuk...! i hate it!

BUT... thanks God for this little gesture of hers!

make me remember that He is still care for me!

i don want to always say that 'i know... i know... this and that...', but, this, i know, He is... alive... always love me!

thank you... ... ...

...Jesus...

I got tagged??!

sorry ah... seen this 'tag' before but never go and find the meaning of it so... very dungu... having this question bugging me in my head... "What is this 'tag, tag' thing???!!!" ... aileen punya pasal la...

anyway, i just follow the way others did... so here is the 'tag, tag' thing with questions... weird~~~(-.-)'''

1. What’s your ambition?

erm... ambition... i wan God to be my ambition... it's all about Him, Jesus... semuanya berkisar tentang Dia, berpusing sekeliling Dia, sebab tanpa Dia, saya tidak bererti! ... ujian-t atau ANOVA atau apa-apa jua formula tidak akan dapat menjawab kesignifikan hidup saya, jikalau tiada Yesus dalam hati saya, hidup saya!

I know, I know... this sounds so 'religious'... so 'pious' or so stereotype or whateva! ... but ...

... He is the source of everything; He is the One and Only; Prince of Peace; my Saviour, Redeemer, Healer, Restorer; my righteousness and ... all that i'm not, He is ... and He is, for me!

2. Who is more important to you, Gorilla-friends/Buaya-friends or friends?

friends la...

3. How often do you think of committing suicide?

hmm... to be honest, a couple of times already! that is cerita dulu-dulu... masih mentah dan 'matak', belum masak dan 'billabongok'... sikalang ah, Yesus ah, itu manyak bagut oh, Dia la hidup wa, dan wa picaya sama Dia oh, lu cuba-cuba la, Dia olang manyak sui oh, bukan 'sway'...

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?

confidence... in things i see myself good at, have a certain knowledge about that thing...

5. How many babies you want?

dunno... i don't think i can manage to take of A LOT of kids... cukup-cukup la... Tuhan yang tahu...

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?

of course! that is one of His promises!

7. What is your goal for this year?

a change in my life??! firmer foundation in the knowledge of the person of God, Jesus...

8. Do you believe in eternity love?

YES! God is eternal, so is His love is eternal...

9. What’s a perfect girlfriend/boyfriend like to u? (List 10)

Christ-centered, sama 'ngam', understanding, inner beauty, honest, bla... bla... bla... no need 10 la... all these not necessary, because God knows... my thoughts can't compare with His... still, i'll talk with Him about it... bincang sama Dia but not as THE priority...

10. What are you really afraid of?

not being in His Big Plan... the plan He laid out in front... being rejected by Him (ministries He intended for me)... make Him angry, sad...

11.What are your bad habits?

a lot man! but still, don't really remember all or even realise them being manifested until a voice convicted me about them...

tend to WASTE a lot of time, that is what i can conclude most of them... slacking off, too! then, i tend to lie whenever the situation getting worse or just want to make myself look 'good' in front of others... take things for granted, many things, even God' grace perhaps...

no need to remind me of these bad side of me... i know i'm not a good person... but i praise God for being all that i need, i'm not... for making me complete in His presence!

12. Is there anything you wanna tell the people who hates you?

yeah, you r wasting your time... i know it's hard to love those unlovables... i know...

13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?

hmm... i miss those far in the distant... 'jauh di sinun'

14. What does flying means to you?

freedom?? feel the wind?? without any limitation?? wah!

15. What do you crave for the most currently?

a passion in something...

16. Most unexpected gift you received so far and when?

eerrr.... people around me, my mother, my kakak n adik-adik, my father n family... n... Jesus... i hav nothing more to ask for... You r incomparable...

17. Describe the person who tagged you in 5 words:

APUUU!!!!! ... that's enough being said...

18. What have you done to yourself that made you happy?

happy?? hmm... take myself into solitude, with Jesus being there waiting for me, always, always...

19. What will you become in another 10 years to come?

a man closer to God, serving others??? definitely to be a man stronger, firmer, wiser... in God, of cos!

20. A song that meant a lot to you?

... ... ... ... ... it got to be 'the song' in my heart, 'the music' in me... ... ... ... ...

Instructions: Remove 1 question form above and add in your personal question.

Tag 8 other people.

1. Alex Lea S.L.

2. Flora Chong S.M.

3. C. Hoc Mun

4. Au Yong T.S.

5. Yohan C.

6. Julian N.

7. Rachel Ng S.A.

8. Jeremy Leow W.H.

(aiya... wanna tag ppl also susah-susah... tag bloggers ka or just anybody?? haih... wat is this 'tag..tag' thingy?? so sebarang simpan nama saja la)

dunno which question to remove n not sure wat to ask... so... that's it...

saja-saja...

Seven Places - Awakening

Jesus Christ, our Savior, who is the propitiation, the satisfaction if you would, for our sins, and not just for our sins, but for the sins of the whole world. The blood of Jesus Christ flowed from seven places.

The first place He bled from - the blood that poured from His head that day. The blood from the thorns in His skull cleanse you from thoughts, the blood that was on His face - hey, He has covered the things that you may not want to face up to because of what you've seen or heard. Know this, the blood flowed for you.

"Yeah, but Jon, you just don't know I've backed away from the Lord, I've turned my back on him."

Well they took a flagellum and they beat His back and blood flowed from His back. It reduced to hamburger meat that day, His back was beaten so brutally. And if you've turned your back on Him and walked away from Him, know this, the blood, the blood that poured from His back, cleanses you; sprinkles you.

"Yeah but Jon, you just don't know what I've done with these hands."

Those hands were pierced, those hands were pinned to the tree, spikes driven through those hands where He bled to cleanse you and cleanse me from the stuff that we've handled that we ought not to have handled, the stuff that we've done that we ought not to have done. Hey, understand. The blood flowed from His hand.

"Yeah but it's stuff that's inside of me Jon, It's just things that I feel in my gut. I have bitterness towards them, and I'm angry with her."

Jesus wants you to know that blood flowed from His side when they thrust that spear into Him when He hung on the cross.

"Feet...I've walked where I ought not to have walked."

Blood flowed from His feet too, when the spike pinned Him through the feet, to the cross of calvary. And now I realize things that I can't face up to, thoughts that I've had that are not right, not good, not true, bitterness inside of me, stuff I've touched that I ought not to touch, places I've gone where I ought not to have walked.

... And I look and I realize the seven-fold flowing of the blood of Christ cleanses me in every area from all sin and I'm free, and I'm forgiven, by the blood.

What can wash away my sin, nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Seven times perfection...seven places...that's what He went through, for me and for you.

Run!!! in freedom... of God!

Hillsong - Run (from "This Is Our God" album)

You were God from the outset
Powerful and creative
You who saw us here before you called
All the stars and the earth to existence

You are God you are Holy
History is you story
You, who was and is
And who forever will be
God we live for your Glory

So we will run
All together our hearts aflame
With a fire that can't be tamed
Our God all Glory to your name
Jesus

You are God you are freedom
You're alive now within us
You who saw us here before
You conquered the grave
And delivered on the promise

We will run
Our surrender to bring you fame
Our desire that you be praised
Our God all Glory to your name
Jesus